Swine flu or allergies?
My throat hurts.
So the question is, do I have the beginning stages of swine flu, or is it just a slight reaction to all the pollen in the air right now?
Seriously, though, what if I got swine flu? I think it might be about the most fitting way for me to go, aside from maybe choking on a meatball.

Good news -- if it's just a sore throat it's probably not swine flu. It's probably just... a sore throat.
The Centers for Disease Control have a useful short video describing the symptoms of swine flu:
http://www2a.cdc.gov/podcasts/player.asp?f=11281
Swine flu presents with the same symptoms as normal flu -- "fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills, or fatigue." Like the everyday flu we're all familiar with, usually swine flu patients get several of these symptoms together, not just one.
If you have many flu-like symptoms and are wondering if you should head to the emergency room, the CDC recommends looking for these warning signs: "difficulty breathing or shortness of breath, pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen, sudden dizziness, confusion, or severe or persistent vomiting."
If you have flu-like symptoms and you're experiencing any of the above danger signs, you should seek medical attention immediately. Otherwise, give it the usual treatment you give flu -- rest, fluids, etc. -- and check in with your GP if that doesn't help.
(Note that these are for adults, the warning signs for children are slightly different.)
Disclaimer: I am not an MD, this is not medical advice, etc. etc. etc.
Now go get some Ricola and stop worrying ;-)
Choking on a meatball would be the worst way possible to go. Think about it- one second you're totally warm with endorphins while this bit of bar-b-quey beefy goodness melts in your mouth and the next second it's trying to kill you. You've only got a few seconds before the buzzing in your ears gets real loud and the room starts to go dark. In the meantime your last thoughts are, "how ironic is this? the thing I loved most in the world has just killed me."