I wish...

You might want to take a look at this article:

http://www.cracked.com/article_17061_5-things-you-think-will-make-you-happy-but-wont.html

See #2. ;)

I remember when I came to the conclusion that I was only going to be an ordinary person. It was a sobering moment. I always had it in my head that I was headed towards some sort of fame. It was either a great artist, a writer, a top salesperson. All of my achievements fell short in my eyes. For years I didn't do art because I knew I was never going to be "great" and I hated being average. I did come to accept the truth. Now it is a little easier to just enjoy who I am. I can even paint again finally. And I love it. I can really appreciate the genius in others now, whatever it might be. I don't have any advice for you. I guess just try some new things and see if you enjoy them. Make a list of what makes you feel most alive. It may give you some insights. I think you are wonderful. I love you and wish you were here.

I think it's a part of all of us - wanting something that seems outside of us or unattainable. The grass is always greener, sort of a thing. Personally, all these 'I wish I could xyz' pop up for me only because I am comparing myself to others and using them as the bar of normalcy. I have to stop myself from focusing on what I don't have and look at what I do have, as annoying optimistic as that may sound.

No one else in the entire world can bring the light that you do, Ginger. It's not only artists and inventers who bring things into the world that are new or exciting, either, though I understand what you mean... I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that you are taking for granted/not noticing the things about you and your unique talents that are amazing... sometimes they are just harder to recognize from the drivers seat.

Why not break out of your comfort zone - paint some pottery one afternoon, pick up an instrument, or try sewing? Maybe take a new dance class? Or.... covertly throwing water ballons at tourists? Tis the season, afterall. We have plenty of targets...

After talking, I think you should look into taking a writing class. Something creative. See what it out there.

After talking, I think you should look into taking a writing class. Something creative. See what it out there.
Do you want to come home for a week and come to Blue Cloud Abbey with me? We are doing a creative expressions workshop.

After talking, I think you should look into taking a writing class. Something creative. See what it out there.
Do you want to come home for a week and come to Blue Cloud Abbey with me? We are doing a creative expressions workshop.

If you can see that art doesn't have to mean anything to anyone but yourself, I think you do have the mind of an artist. Art doesn't have to be visible or audible. Your art can be anything. I think mine is cosmetizing dead people. You'll see yours someday. You might be the last one to recognize it.

I am a total stranger, but the reason I've continued to follow your blog for all these years is because I see such an interesting, articulate, creative, thoughtful, and inspired soul in everything of yours I read.

No ordinary person is even capable of having a thought like, "I'm so exhausted with my ordinariness I can hardly keep my eyes open."

Sorry to be so corny, but I find you extraordinary, Ms. Ginger. And I agree that you should funnel some of your energy into writing; speaking from my own experience, it's a great escape and great therapy. And you'd be really, really good at it.
--Rachel

and i've known you your whole life and totally agree with Rachel. you are the least "ordinary or mundane" person i know:)

You're not just another regular, ordinary person. I'd place you in the top third of mediocre people. Maybe top 20%. :P

there is nothing stopping you.....

Thank you all for being so nice and indulging my self pity. There is one thing I'm VERY good at, and that's feeling sorry for myself.

Hey Ging! Long time no talk! You don't need my postdated two cents since you've probably already moved past your pity state. Keep being the adventurous, naturally curious, self-reflective and perceptive person you always have been and you'll find something stimulating to do with yourself. When you start to feel the ordinaries coming on take some risks, fail at some stuff and change up your routine. Travel is always fun, too!

I was actually thinking on my drive home today that it would be really nice to be the best at something and then instantly bummed that it wasn't going to happen. But why is it important to be the best? So people will praise you and you'll feel valuable? Probably. How sad to have your fulfillment hinged on the opinion of a bunch of people just as "ordinary" as you. Mundane would not come to mind when describing you. In fact, even how you talk about the mundane is pretty thought provoking and/or at least amusing.