Step 1: Ginger talks to men; Step 2: Conversation crashes, burns and engulfs others in the vicinity

I tried a couple of new places around town last week, well, new for me anyway, and was treated to some lovely exchanges with the opposite sex. Please hear the sarcasm in the word lovely.

Svetlana heard tell that there was lady's night at Play on Thursdays, so we made like college kids and went to check it out. Yes indeed, free drinks till midnight! The service was atrocious, though. Whatever, we were there to dance and people-watch anyway, and there was plenty of that to be had.

But all that is neither here nor there, I started this story to tell you about the weird opening line this guy pulled. He and his friends were hovering around me and Svet and finally he came up to us and asked, "If there was a Muppet Death Match, which Muppet would you want to be?"

Really? Svetlana, who is Bolivian, just sat there looking at him in kind of shocked wonder. The guy tried to be funny, saying something about Elmo and endorsement deals, so I finally decided on Oscar the Grouch, because of my general demeanor. Svetlana still was like, "Why are we doing this?" but ended up with "Big Bird, I guess..." and the conversation faltered. Seriously, really? I mean, original is nice, but that was just kind of weird.

But, his friend jumped in to save it and started talking about palm reading. I said I knew what a few things meant cos my friend Omar had read my palm, so I could tell them how many times they'd be married. I took the friend's hand and said, "Hmmm... a little creative but mostly practical, and you might not marry." I grabbed Mr. Elmo's hand and said, "Based on the creases here, you're going to be married twice."

The dude rips his hand from mine and screams, "Screw that, you don't know what you're talking about, that will never happen, etc. etc." Totally overreacting. Then he FLIPS ME OFF and walks away. I kid you not. His poor friend was like, "uh..." and followed behind him. Svetlana and I just sat there like, "Did he really just do that?" He breaks out Muppet Death Match and I'm the one who gets the finger? Life just isn't fair.