Don't pray for me
It doesn't do any good. God doesn't intervene; prayer does NOT change things. He doesn't grant serenity, or intercede on behalf of those who need help the most. The more time you spend praying is more time you waste. So don't pray for me.
Prayer was designed to placate people, not to actually change anything. I know I'm not the first person to say this, but having your only brother, who was only out to do good in this world, ripped away from you for no reason whatsoever tends to cause a person to examine her beliefs even more closely.
And I believe that the only thing prayer is good for is to help people feel better - kind of like a form of meditation. We say the Lord's Prayer because it soothes us to recite things in unison. There is something inside humans that desires the sound of incantation and repetition.
We also like to feel as though the things we do have some sort of effect. We fancy ourselves necessary. We're not. God doesn't care what we want. He wound up the clock and is just letting it wind back down.
My mother says the only reason we haven't completely fallen apart is because of all the people praying for us. And seriously, you all can't even imagine how much it means to our whole family that we have so many people that care about us. It's honestly unbelievable. But in the end, I don't personally believe it's what's saving us. I think our brains have just evolved a defense mechanism that doesn't allow us to feel the anguish all at once. God's not holding us in his protective hand. God doesn't give a shit.
Pray, if you want, but don't waste your time on me. My brother is gone, it doesn't matter anyway.
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I am with you 100%. although some of what you say may be out of anger. I think that your family hasn't fallen apart, because they are good people. They won't allow themselves to fall apart. You say not to pray, I won't, but that won't keep me/others from worrying about you.
so sad to hear you story and read your thoughts. we can feel your anger and saddness through reading your posts. i hope you don't mind, but we are going to continue to pray for you. so sorry for your loss.
I also think that religion serves mostly as a comforter in hard times. And that's exactly how I use it. I know it's hypocritical and not the way true believers do it, but I can't help it. The few times that I have had to deal with death, the only thing that provided me some kind of comfort was the thought that my relatives are now in a better place. Hanging out together. But prayer didn't do anything for me.
I try to justify it by thinking that I won't bother God with all the little stuff that's going on, and only use Him when I'm really desperate. That way He won't be so busy all the time.
But what's it all matter to you? How can anything possibly comfort you at the moment?
God hears your prayers and acts on them, though it may not be in the way you want it to be. He will use your circumstances and the people around you to show His love and help you. The clock never winds down, he says we will inherite the earth forever and forever. Unlsess you confess to God that Jesus is Lord and savior your clock will continue in an everlasting hatred and pain, forever and forever.
Ob Bill, when you wrote, "Unlsess you confess to God that Jesus is Lord and savior your clock will continue in an everlasting hatred and pain, forever and forever."
That is just so fucking comforting....
I'm sorry for your loss, and I don't mean that as if it's my fault or anything, just that I don't like seeing people suffer and I wish things had turned out so much better than that, but such is life.
If God exists then everything you've been told about him is a lie, about comforting, helping etc. H'ed probably be something like what you said with winding up the clock and won't help with anything. If he doesn't exist, well it's obvious he has no effect on anything other than what humans make up themselves.
I personally hold that it's possible some god or something could exist, but that the probability is so slim it's just a waste to live your life with such beliefs. And also that whatever supreme being might exist, is nothing like what we might imagine, like what people have told you, nothing at all like that, so again why bother.